Donate

Presence Weekly: Navigating Power Differentials in the Institution of Marriage

1 Peter 3:1-7 (1 of 3) Understanding marriage differently

The busts of Emperor Hadrian and his lover Antinous are displayed next to each other at the British Museum in London (Credit: British Museum)

[First Things]

Please let us know if you are interested in joining an in-person Washington discipleship cohort or reading group, have a pastoral concern, or are interested in our resources for churches.

[The Devo] Understanding Marriage Differently

​​3 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. 

7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.  1 Peter 3:1–7

As we move through this section of Peter’s pastoral letter to the elect exiles, it is important to remember the preface to these gospel-centered house tables:

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 1 Peter 2:9

We have stated repeatedly that Peter is addressing elect exiles who are largely on the weak side of numerous power differentials. He has been calling them, and us, to live differently as a chosen race, a royal priesthood, and a holy nation and to proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 

Peter has been bringing situational specificity to that call to live differently. 

First, he begins his house table recalibration with encouragement focused explicitly on the public square, by saying, “Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good.”  This is instruction for his readers to live differently and have a faithful presence with a government composed of pagans. 

Second, Peter speaks to a cultural and economic institution in saying, “Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust.” Here, his instruction is how to live differently and have a faithful presence with their non-Christian masters and bosses. 

Finally, Peter addresses those on the weak side of another institution - that of marriage. Notice that Peter opens with Likewise. Just as he did in talking about slaves and masters, we should assume that he continues to talk about Christians who find themselves in a subordinate and uncomfortable position with a non-Christian. I believe this is how we should enter into this passage. Peter is speaking primarily to Christians in marriage relationships with non-Christians. This explains why this passage spends six verses encouraging the woman and only one verse encouraging the man.  

Biblical Context

In contrast, Ephesians 5:21-33 likely addresses the relationship of an equally yoked Christian marriage, devoting eight verses to the man and only three verses to the woman. 

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.  Eph 5:22–33

It is also helpful to remember that Genesis 3:17 is part of the curse, not the blessing. 

​​The Lord God said to the serpent, 
“Because you have done this, cursed are you above all livestock 
and above all beasts of the field; 
on your belly you shall go, and dust you shall eat all the days of your life. 
I will put enmity between you and the woman, 
and between your offspring and her offspring; 
he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.” 

To the woman he said, 
“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; 
in pain you shall bring forth children. 
Your desire shall be contrary to your husband,
but he shall rule over you.”

And to Adam he said,
“Because you have listened to the voice of your wife 
and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, 
‘You shall not eat of it,’ cursed is the ground because of you; 
in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life; 
thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; 
and you shall eat the plants of the field. 
By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, 
till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken;
for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” 

A few final points will help us with the context. First, in the first century, the woman was expected to adopt and proclaim the faith of her husband – she did not have a choice. Secondly, it should be stressed that the idea of writing to slaves and women regarding their roles in relationships would have been unheard of in Greco-Roman culture because neither were seen as important. As much as some might want to characterize Christians as having regressive and oppressive views on women, the context suggests that a great number of slaves and women were converting to the faith because they understood it as good news that was setting the captives free! 

Ultimately, this passage is about living differently and having a faithful presence in a marriage when it is difficult and the spouse does not love you as Christ loves the church! For this to happen, we must have a proper definition of marriage. 

Defining Terms

I lived in Iowa City, Iowa in April of 2009, when the Supreme Court of Iowa issued its ruling in the case of Varnum v. Brien. The effect of the decision made Iowa the third state in the country to legalize same-sex marriage. Over the next six years, same-sex marriage progressively became the law of the land, culminating in the 2015 United States Supreme Court ruling in Obergefell v. Hodges. 

Christians who hold to an orthodox reading of Scripture have been understandably frustrated by this move to redefine marriage. Nonetheless, it is the law of the land. The governmental institution in America has given same-sex couples the legal right to marry. However, the state has not truly redefined marriage. What God defines is not open to redefinition, only misrepresentation and misappropriation.  We must stop redefining marriage and re-embrace the sanctity of marriage.  By that, I don’t mean the state or even culture - I mean Christians. Because Christians, too, have unwittingly come to redefine marriage. 

Building on the Greek tradition (that included Socrates), homosexuality was a socially accepted and common practice in the first-century Roman Empire, especially for men. As Christianity spread, so did homosexuality’s acceptance within the public square. Emperor Nero (37-69 AD) held at least two public marriage ceremonies with other men, once as the bride and the other as a groom to Sporus, whom, as fans of Succession know, Nero castrated. Other emperors held similar ceremonies, including Hadrian (76 -138 AD), who, although married to a woman, was in a well-known and public relationship with a youth named Antinous. 

While society may misrepresent and misappropriate marriage as a relationship based solely on feeling in love, Christians are called to define marriage differently, as God does: a covenantal union that models the relationship between Christ and his Church. In God’s economy marriage is: a covenantal union created as proclamation of the gospel of steadfast-love and faithfulness even amid great difficulty, suffering, and weakness; a covenantal union in which to experience the transformation into disciples of Christ through the power of the gospel; and a covenantal union in which we pursue the flourishing of society.  

We shall explore each of these in the coming weeks. 

Application Questions

What are your points of confusion, dissonance, concern, or disagreement with this passage, both in the roles of men and women within a marriage and in the definition of the participants in the covenant of marriage?

What is the basis for these conclusions (Biblical, cultural, lack of understanding)?


Rewrite the passage in your own words, expressing your understanding of the God-intended relationship between a husband and wife.

[Faithful Prayer] 

  • Cabinet Agency: The servants and leaders at the Central Intelligence Agency as they “provide objective intelligence on foreign countries and global issues to the president, the National Security Council, and other policymakers to help them make national security decisions.” Those interested in a commentary on how the CIA has appeared in pop culture should click HERE. 

  • Think Tank, Lobby group, NGO: The servants and leaders at the Washington office of the International Institute for Strategic Studies (IISS), as they “produce independent, policy-relevant data about geopolitics, geo-economics and conflict, however caused, that may have an important strategic dimension. Also in their work of providing regional forums for annual public policy statements, as well as private bilateral and multilateral meetings among government officials.” 

  • Weekly delegation: The servants and leaders of the congressional delegation of the state of Connecticut.

  • Agency News: “The Trump administration is requiring the Department of Health and Human Services to cut spending on contracts by 35%, HHS spokesperson Andrew Nixon confirmed to NPR. The cuts to spending on contracts applies across all divisions of HHS – which includes the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the National Institutes of Health, the Food and Drug Administration, the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services and other agencies.” (from NPR) Please pray for those with the responsibility for making decisions on these cuts, which, while mandated, are not done easily. 

  • Personal requests - A Senator requests prayer for wisdom and discernment in the prioritization of his effort. An appointee requests prayer for navigating a difficult next two weeks. A Hill staffer requests prayer as they wrap up their time in Washington doing important work with incoming administration officials. A senior Cabinet appointee requests “the ability to bend time” so they can get all their work done. The same official requests prayer that one of their children would pay more attention in school. Another Cabinet staffer is concerned about their ability to retire, as planned, based on the current state of the market.

[The Page, The Pod & The Stack]

[What’s Happening?]

  • Monday, April 7, 2:00 - 3:00 pm ET, the Hudson Institute will host an online conversation, Chairman of the Council of Economic Advisers Stephen Miran on the Trump Administration’s Economic Agenda on the Trump administration’s economic agenda and the outlook for America’s trade partners. Chairman Miran will also discuss the intersection of trade, national security, and global public goods provided by the United States.

  • Tuesday, April 8, 10:00 to 11:00 am ET, the Bipartisan Policy Center will host a hybrid event, Tariffs, Tweets, and Trade: Decoding the Trump Administration’s Global Economic Playbook to explore the latest developments in U.S. trade policy and the potential impact on the economy, employment, and inflation.

  • Tuesday, April 8, 4:30 - 5:45 pm ET, the American Enterprise Institute will host a hybrid event, Politics as Religion? A Conversation with Yuval Levin and Former Representative Daniel Lipinski on the rise of “sectarian politics” in contemporary American life, and how Americans can recover a rightly ordered relationship between politics and religion.

  • Wednesday, April 9, 9:00 - 10:30 am ET, the Progressive Policy Institute will host a hybrid book event and panel, Class Matters, to discuss whether “class, not race,” in college admissions offers a viable path for promoting social mobility and racial diversity.

  • Thursday, April 10, 12:30 - 2:00 pm ET, the Cato Institute will host a hybrid book event, Your Body, Your Health Care, with author Dr. Jeffrey Singer to examine issues like prescription requirements, self-medication rights, harm-reduction access, and licensing laws, and a path toward health care policy that prioritizes individual rights and adult autonomy.

  • Saturday, April 12, 10:00 am - 12:30 pm ET, the National Cherry Blossom Festival presents the National Cherry Blossom Parade down Constitution Avenue.

[Two Thumbs Up] A Day Trip to Baltimore Harbor

Just 45 minutes up the road, and easily accessible by rail, lies Washington’s sister (or maybe step-sister) city. Sure, there is a rivalry: we have the Nats, they have the Os; we have the Commanders, they have the Ravens; we have the Capitals and the NHL’s scoring GOAT - “The Great 8,” and Baltimore has NO NHL team! But Baltimore is not to be ignored for those looking to enjoy a wonderful day trip out of Washington. 

Your day will start spectacularly if you leave early enough to have breakfast or brunch at Miss Shirley’s, a hopping joint in downtown that serves palette resetting dishes like Chicken ’n’ Cheddar Green Onion Waffles (fried buttermilk boneless chicken breast pieces with honey mustard aioli drizzle & cheddar green onion waffles with peppadew jalapeño butter, dusted with cajun spice) and the Gravy Train Southern Skillet (fried buttermilk boneless chicken breast pieces on a house-made pimento cheese biscuit, collard greens with ham, stone ground grits with diced bacon, chicken andouille sausage gravy & white cheddar, topped with sunny side up egg, dusted with cajun spice). They also have the most amazing Chocolate Chip Cookie Donuts!

While burning off all those calories will take days, an enjoyable stroll around the harbor is a perfect post-meal option and opportunity to visit a number of shops. Along the way, you can tour several historic ships, including the USS Constitution, and even book one of many boat excursions. Baltimore Harbor is also home to the beautiful National Aquarium. 

From there, the Edgar Allen Poe House & Museum is a one-of-a-kind opportunity to connect with one of America’s greatest authors of the 19th century. Finally, ending your day at The Elk Room, a harbor neighborhood speak-easy, will give you a chance to reflect on your day with a drink and a nice dinner before returning to Washington. 

A seriously delicious donut from Miss Shirley’s

[Last Things]

If you enjoy this newsletter, please share it with a friend. If you want to join a Bible study, discipleship cohort, or reading group, please get in touch!

Thanks for reading Faithful Presence! This post is public, so feel free to share it.

Share

Faithful Presence exists to provide whole-life discipleship in the whole of life for the whole of the public square. Join us as we seek renewal in politics and the public square by becoming a Supporting Partner.

Find Us On: LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook | X | YouTube | Apple & Spotify